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How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

Getting rejected by a woman is just about the biggest thing most guys fear when trying to approach. It’s the main cause for approach anxiety. For some, the fear of denial can become so strong and horrifying, that they can think of any alibi possible Life just to avoid taking action and going to interact with the girl they like. To be fair, getting rejected can be harsh. It can mess you up and give you a feeling of inferiority. It can make you an anti-social person and ruin your life : that is, if you allow it.

I once went to a night club with a somewhat fearful friend. As soon as we got in, he headed straight for the bar and ordered a drink. After that he just was standing there, together with drink in his hand, watching women walk by. So i tried to tell him to come with me and talk to some of them. As you can already imagine, he rejected. Every time I gave him reasons why he ought to do it, he had a convenient alibi ready. Now, what makes this story bizarre here is the fact that he didn’t even disagree with me. He totally understood what I was telling him and didn’t try to state with me but still was able to find enough reasons not to act.

I hope you already know where I’m heading with this story. His fear of denial was so strong, which he decided just to stand there and watch me reaching different women, even when he knew, which he should have done the same. The saddest part about this story is which he will never start to approach women when he doesn’t accept that denial is something everyone of us can overcome.

I’ll be honest with you. There is not much I can tell you that will change your behavior overnight. There are no magical words to “cure you” of approach anxiety or fear of denial. Even if you agree with me 100% here, your fear of denial will not disappear that easily. The only way to overcome these fears is to go out and gather reference experiences and this takes time. You are in the wrong place here if you are looking for an instantaneous solution. Every major change in your mind and body takes time.

Before moving on, I’d like to see you to accept one thing: denial you can do to you. Now this may sound harsh but take it into consideration, that even guys who teach pick-up and have been in the game for a long time, still get rejected. The more you approach, the more you will see denial. And it’s totally okay to be scared. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Getting rejected is not a bad thing. Once you accept that, it gets easier. You will not be so scared anymore when approaching different women and won’t care if you get rejected. And here is the kicker: because your attitude towards denial takes a different approach, you will get rejected less.

The secret of dealing with denial is not to allow it get to you. If you manage to keep your emotional state calm before approaching and after getting rejected, the fear that usually comes in these development will begin to disappear. Getting rejected allows you to study on your failures. It will improve your approach and lessen the anxiety when reaching a lady. You will eventually learn, that whenever you get rejected, it’s not always because you did something wrong. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with how you look or what you do. So, when you get rejected, don’t take it personally. Women have hundreds of different reasons why they rejected you and none must do with who you are.

Finally this article and to give you a better understanding what I’m talking about, let me give you two examples of the behaviors of different men. One of them is your average joe who approaches girls rarely (if ever) and takes denial dead seriously and the other is an alpha dog male who doesn’t care if he gets rejected or not.

The average Joe always hesitates before a way. He tries to tell himself why he’s worthy to approach the girl. He gives her too much value and they want to himself. He thinks of all the things he could say to her and how she would respond. Finally, when he’s got mustered up enough braveness to approach her, he walks over to her. He mumbles something (something she doesn’t even understand) and tries nervously and desperately to hold her attention. She does not respond the way he thought to and turns away from him. He’s got just gotten rejected. As he is walking away, he is devastated because he missed “his big chance” and hopes no one saw his approach. His still might not approach girls for a long time anymore.

The alpha dog guy sees a girl he likes and starts, without concern, walking straight towards her. Nothing will minimize him now and the possibility of getting rejected won’t even enter his mind. Like everyone, he could have some fear when he approaches, but doesn’t allow it get to him. When he opens the conversation, all the girl sees, is his confident healthy posture and relaxed attitude. From the outside, there is no track of fear left in him. Even when he gets rejected, he won’t care and start over-analyzing why this happened to him. He won’t care if other people saw his “embarrassing” approach. He knows that she was just one girl and there are many women who would be happy to meet him. He finds another one he likes and approaches her.

The difference between the average joe and the alpha dog? It only depends how anyone can deal with denial and approach anxiety. If you can brush it off like it’s nothing, you won’t become so outcome dependent and have more success in general. You will be more confident and free to act the way you want to.

So, all I can tell you here is to start approaching regardless of how hard it feels. If you do it regularly, you start to enjoy it and your fears will reduce. You maybe never lose your fear, but you will learn to deal with it. Do not let your fear influence your behavior, learn to overcome it. Remember, the only way you can avoid denial and anxiety that is included with it, is to stop reaching women altogether. You don’t want to take that step?

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